Posts tagged ‘India’

Working Women and Parenting

2Sides of Life

2Sides of Life

My mother was a homemaker (to use a modern terminology). I do not recall a time in my childhood when Ireturned to an empty home and made my own snacks or lunch/dinner. I grew up taking for granted that mothers are always at home to receive their children. The outside reality slowly sunk in and I realized that women who went to work also were mothers whose children bid them good bye each morning and waited for them to come back to relate the days adventures.

I recall one blog written by a TV Newsreader which is particularly fascinating. This is two years old blog, but timeless in terms of contents and I am giving below a link to it.

Working Mothers: On IBN

The comments in response mostly from women are equally interesting. They are worth reading.

In today’s context when female education is emphasized and they are equal or should be equal to male in terms of opportunities and abilities , it is not fair or correct to tell a woman that her main job is to be a “homemaker” rather than fulfill her personal and professional aspirations. At the same time, children in the early and formative years require close attention from at least one of the parent. This need not be on a 24/7 basis, but ideally should cover a significant portion of the children’s waking hours and their time spent in the house. As the children grow up, the degree and span of attention could vary and reduce.

I am seeing in some cases grand parents being substitute parents. Some grand parents are frequent flyers to gulf and USA to care the grand children. I always wonder whether the parents bond well with children brought up by others? Do grand parents have the same energy they had as parents? Is’nt it a a bit tiresome for grandparents to do once more what they had done over three decades back? Would they not be looking thru the prism of values and mores which may not be relevant three decades later when the children become adults?

“Quality time” seems to cover the nature of attention needed, but at the same time indicates cliché or an overused word. I tried to imagine myself to be a parent with two children of varying ages between 5 and 10, tending to them after a full day at office and traveling for nearly 3 hours a day. Besides this there would be domestic chores to attend. How much energy would a person have – whether the parent is a mother or father- is hard to estimate? Would they tell stories from Ramayana or Mahabharata or read Tintin comics before the children go to sleep? How much of their day at school would interest them? I realized that I would do much less than what a working parent does today.

Perhaps the issue is not working vs non working mothers. The real issue could be how much of a bonding exists between the children and parents. I have seen fathers substituting for mothers who are sometimes more busy due to the nature of their jobs.

Children need and demand attention. Some times the attention they seek disturb others who see some distortion in relationship without identifying what could be the cause. Whenever I see such distortion, I wonder what would they grow up to be as adults. Do children of working parents demand more attention and carry some level of unfulfilled emotional needs? I don’t know. But I have certainly seen some children seeking more than needed attention.

The bottom line could be that when we bring another human being into this world, as parents we have a responsibility and duty to ensure that the child grows up to be a good human being and be able to contribute to the society in a positive manner. So when our children become adults, we should be perhaps be able meet this standard, at least in our own hearts.



Image Source: ANVClicks


June 28, 2009 at 8:24 pm 2 comments

Influences in life.


Ananth’s blogon influences set me thinking on how the persons around us impact our thinking and behaviour. His blog was on the conscious impact of few persons around him. I felt that the impact on the sub conscious mind by our environment is worth thinking of.

Last year I attended a marriage in Chennai. My aunt (father’s younger sister) exclaimed that “you look like my brother in your present attire” or something to that effect. Instinctively, I felt flattered. Why should I feel so? My father, from the time I remember, looked his age and some more. He was severely short sighted, though tall, was stooping, had very less teeth, dark complexioned, with a furious temper and highly rigid opinion on several aspects of life. His was a hard act to follow.  But still, some of his achievements and decisions make us still look up to him and any resemblance-genetic or otherwise- gives us a sense of inner glow. This however comes with some of the turns and twists life takes and compels us look into the mirror and admit reality at least to ourselves.

In Indian context, the first influence is our parents. The first English alphabets and nursery rhyme was taught to me by my mother whose formal education stopped at primary school. Forty six years back, we had come to Mumbai from a small village in Kerala. We had to adjust to a metro life in a hurry. Learning a foreign language and rhyme (twinkle twinkle little star…) was the first step. I have a sentimental belief that since this was the only subject my mother taught me, I was always good at it.

How did our parents express their love to us or to each other? How many of us remember our parents smiling with a shy love or laughing wickedly over an adult joke said privately to each other? Did they hold each other in their arms and dance the way we saw in the movies of 60s? May be so. Did they do it in our presence? Never.  How did this lack of physical or public expression of love (an Indian trait) impact us? Well, most of us – at least in South India- are uncomfortable with a physical expression of love- even of the platonic variety- in public and may be even in private.

What is the situation today? Very difficult to say.  My belief is that today’s youth are caught between the example set by their parents and the peer pressure. What is the right thing to do? I feel that some amount of display of positive emotions strengthens relationships and establishes some bonding.

Peer pressure or friends or lack of it is the next strongest influence in any life. How would lack of peer pressure or friends influence a person? Like many shy persons, I found it difficult to create an easy going friendship with the group in which I was studying or working (hai-bye relationship). I did exactly what I felt like doing. Some of it succeeded due to several factors- some within and some beyond my control.  But the difficulty in creating an easy going “life of the party” kind of relationship remains.

Peer pressure come most obviously in the “science or commerce” kind of decisions post schooling. Most of such decisions are based not on what the boy or girl wants to do in life post education and how attractive that avenue is. Some years back I had asked my cousin (who is a medical doctor (MBBS)) why is there a craze for medical admission when the returns are not commensurate with the efforts- at least in India. He said that it was due to lack of real understanding of the profession and its pressures. Last week’s news article said that the application for medical admission has fallen significantly while demand for engineering admission has surged.  One classic example is the number of engineers who joined for IT related courses even when it was apparent that many of the industry leaders are from different streams of engineering and such streams offered good long term prospects.

There is a big board I see on the way to office every day. It says “To the world you might be one person; to one person you might be the entire world. So drive carefully.” I feel this poignantly states our relationship with those we love very much- spouse, children, parents, siblings etc. Whenever we wear a new dress, after examining the image on the mirror, we go to our spouse and ask hesitantly ‘do I look handsome?’ A small smile of appreciation, a tart comment makes our day. I say to myself- I certainly look handsome in this shirt. I sometimes think that even Manmohan Singh or Sonia Gandhi must be asking their family members about their appearance before stepping into public gaze. This is only a small example how our spouse and/or family members appreciation matters to each person.  Family support is a great strength of Indian way of life and gives an anchor for our life.

Do parents listen to their children?  Yes, they do; especially when children start growing up and express their opinions.  The external environment has changed and is changing so rapidly that only highly self opinionated parents will disregard the views emanating from their children. If we have to keep communication lines open with them, we have to listen, but not necessarily agree with them and provide an adult feedback. Does this influence us? Yes it does. How does it influence us? Not easy to say. But their love and appreciation of our achievements and forgiveness of our failings matters a lot to us- at least to me.

Lastly religion, religious beliefs, practices, rituals and the whole baggage that comes with it. These are so intensely personal that they are hard to pin down or express in a logical or coherent manner. It matters to us hugely. Even lack of belief in all these things matters hugely.  Here again the dominating influence is our parents. We observe them and then decide consciously or unconsciously as to what we should do.

I have not touched up on the influence of our life in service as that deserves another blog.

So who influenced you? Why don’t you look at your parent and start wondering how they have influenced you?

June 15, 2009 at 12:03 pm 1 comment

Stay foolish… Stay in!

The Corporate Apple

The Corporate Apple



“As you dream about your passion and work towards you goal,

You make yourself calm and play through your role

You find your name and follow the set game

Be a pawn and monotonously do the same

Stay putt as you search to get things par

Work hard and say pressure & time no bar

Realizing slowly the messed up cobs

Goes away the smile, you see around those sobs

Raced ahead off all, you look behind those in lag

They are still behind, but are holding the Chequered flag”

As the new FY begins, with so many things set in motion, the corporate gets set for the New Year’s game.

 You see all around faces that have forgotten to give honest smile for the fear that it might be mistaken for a mockery. Those affected by the Depression / downturn of economy (Corporate / otherwise) have their genuine worries and those who are not affected, want to get a slice of the “Scary Pie”. Sad it sounds!

Strange, we now do not want to let go even of the sad and bad side of economy and want to be an honest part of it. Why?

It helps.

‘It helps to excuse for your downsizing which was already on the cards. It helps to clean up with those who should be a positive addition but in corporate games are not needed to be a part of the system. It helps to share nothing except your actual growth figures with your huge chunk of honest employees who would have poured in their heart and soul to contribute in any which way to their company and at the end, show them down (saying its downturn all around).’

 Integrity has been a gift to mock with today, as nothing seems to be in place except constant chaos. It’s sad to see those corporate biggies using excuses to pull down employee’s morale and trust and blame it on the market scenario with ease.

 The impact that such uncanny and negative traits seem to be setting across; their cascading effects will be seen in the coming years.

 Till then, all those in distress & chaos, those trying to grab that Sweet and forbidden Apple, for now, just hold on to your roots, stay Putt, stay calm and keep your shoes of integrity on…. ‘coz it will always take you par to your final goal……

 So may be for now stay foolish but Stay in!

May 13, 2009 at 8:15 am Leave a comment

OSCAR – Jai Ho!

Jai Ho, Jai Ho!


Come Home to the Oscars…. Or should I say… Oscars came home….




Finally, Danny Boyle and A R Rahman bring the most coveted Oscars back into the streets of Mumbai.


This is the third win for an Indian at the Oscars. The first being, Bhanu Athaiya who won  for costume design in Richard Attenborough’s “Gandhi” made in 1983 and the second being, the legendary filmmaker Satyajit Ray who was awarded a lifetime achievement Oscar in 1992.


‘Slumdog Millionaire’ swept EIGHT OSCARS at the 81 st Academy Awards including Best Adapted Screenplay, Cinematography, Sound Mixing, Film Editing, Original Score, Original Song, Direction and Motion Picture.




Rahman mesmerized the audience with ‘O Saya’ and ‘Jai Ho…’ the nominated songs from ‘Slumdog…’, as the nominees for Best Original Song were being announced. He came, he performed and he swept everyone away….


As the British director Danny Boyle walked in with his cast of Slumdog Millionaire family down the red carpet, all the nine cast members, who played the three main characters in the rags-to-riches magical fable, seemed to further race the hearts of millions of Indians watching all over. There were superstars Anil Kapoor and Irfan Khan also beaming with pride and joy.


Most importantly there were the two young cast members, who still live in Mumbai’s slums, making it very special for each and everyone at home in Mumbai.


The movie fetched Danny Boyle the Best Director award, Simon Beaufoy best Adapted Screenplay and Anthony Dod Mantle the best Cinematography award. The film was also awarded for Best Editing.


Rahman in his acceptance speech after bagging the Original Score Oscar, made LA sound like Mumbai with the legendary dialogue, ‘Mere pass Ma hai’ which means even if I have got nothing I have my mother here. I want to thank her for coming all the way to support me,”


The Gulzar and Rahman composed Lyrics “Jai Ho” won the Best Song.


Resul Pookutty, received the award for Best Sound Mixing with co-recordists Ian Tapp and Richard Pryke.


Also to further glorify this magical night, ‘Smile Pinki’, the tale of a Uttar Pradesh girl and her fight against the social stigma of a cleft-lip, won the Oscar award for Best Documentary (Short).  This film was Directed by the Emmy-award winning Megan Mylan.




Let the glory continue……………..



Oscar Winners List: OSCAR Winners


Image Courtesy:


Oscar Logo Image: OSCARS

Slumdog: OSCARS

Smile Pinki: BBC


February 23, 2009 at 9:33 pm Leave a comment

Mumbai Attack: Why {‘Me’mbai} … will never be my question!

Mumbai -TREE Grace -Strength!

Mumbai -TREE Grace -Strength!


Why {‘Me’mbai} … will never be my question!


The first breath of air that I ever took till the current letters that I am keying in…. Every minuscule moment screams of the word MUMBAI.


I grew up proudly in this beauty of a land which we term, as the city of dreams. The energy and drive that Mumbai can bring for anyone is, in human terms, unreal and eccentric. Growing up here, all I ever worried about was nothing other than ‘just the fear of growing too slow’.


For I knew, that my quick paced city was safe and would keep me safe.


Life was driven by the ambition of achievement and passion, nothing more.


Life was socially or otherwise, always strictly business for every Mumbaikar. 


Mumbai never had Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Sikhs or any other community. Mumbai in its most awful state of affairs always seemed to come to a consensus on the basis of an understanding but has stood strong and has returned hitting harder.


We are a cash rich city by means of real estate, human resource and the dream builders of the world. At the end of the day, everyone knows… There is only one Hope on the face of this planet… that can withstand any trial, wherein so many cultures and dreams have been built from and with nothingness, Our Mumbai.


But this week, Mumbai met with an attempt which has made things very personal.


In the name of community and insane inhumanness innocent lives were driven into havoc. We were attacked by those who had nothing in their minds, but a canvas of painting the city red. Of giving a message to all: Stay away from this city …..


As of date, we have earned over decades the bloody audacity to shout at the top of our voice that we are going to welcome the world more than ever and by God, will the world too take this city with more respect than ever before.


We will and have already bounced back to grow, party and capitalize harder than anyone could ever dream of.


No one is scared…… bloody not even close…. Now the city is going to have more guests, more visitors and tourists than ever before. All will have the hot and crispy groundnuts outside the Taj Mahal Hotel once again and hang out. Drive around the Marine Drive and catch a movie at Metro this week.


Why, because, WHY MUMBAI, will never be my question. You wanted to hit the best… Thanks for reminding the billions all over, that the city of dreams is actually a city that never sleeps. It is actually built with people that love this land and she gets her energy from the blood running through each of our veins. The city has never slept and will never sleep. We will grow beyond what anyone can fathom and will welcome billions more to this land to grow along with us everyday.


We are dreams… We are hope… We are strength…… The commandos, the NSG and every brave staff at the hotels, the amazing heart of every civilian, The Trident, Nariman House, Taj, Colaba, CST and all over … gave us more hope than ever before. A heartflet sincere Thanks to each of the heroes. We will always bounce back and hit harder than one can ever EVER in their bloody sense of the term even think of.


I will never ask why M{e}mbai.. I know… ‘coz people always go after what’s the best….. It’s sad… for the rest… ‘coz they will never get even an ounce of it…. It’s not for cowards, it’s not for Losers…. It’s for the mighty strong who face Life… not from behind a bush…but Face to face!




Look at us – We are ready to rock the world again!

Image Source:


November 30, 2008 at 12:06 pm 5 comments

Mumbai Terrorist Attack: This is Mumbai… Do not ever try this again!




As the flames of the city seemed to settle down with the dust, the pace of the city was just as Mumbai would be, quick, chaotic, restless and as always undying.


 What about it’s spirit?


I would not want to quote the routine but yes, the city is once again ready to bow down and salute the real life heroes – Our Officers & commandos.


Our Mumbai did not see any one “Leader” around, probably for reasons of safety and security as the true brave hearts were giving us everything they had that too for those, who only read about them in the daily papers.


As the real law holders fought for us, we the timid people, could watch them shed their blood from our home television sets. But at least the food did not go down our throats for those two days. At least, so much of shame was within, for those who spilled out all that they had for us…..


We mourned, we wept, we screamed inside our hearts in agony as the city was witnessing a fiery night out of nowhere.


As the cowards drew the first blood, it just got too expensive, as by the grace of God, Our Nation was blessed with the brave sons of this soil who kept the crown standing at the same place.


As we rejoice for those who were rescued, as we SALUTE those who saved our souls and as we mourn for the deceased, the flame within cannot fade.


You know why?


You can beat us, you can make us bleed….. but you can’t break us….


This is the Mahatmas land…..


I salute today from my cosy home sitting in my comfortable chair those who have made me feel safer today…. the real heroes who always were the demi-gods.


I bow down to every Life lost and pray for their souls to find peace.


“I only hope one day for this free land…

to be actually free…

from the filthy games

and selfish deeds….

as I found  my city’s crown today….

shattered to many a piece….”


This is Mumbai, Do not ever try this again…..

November 29, 2008 at 10:52 pm 2 comments

Young Talents ‘write-ups’

TECHDIVINE is a registered trademark catering to Designing solutions for Print, Web, Animation, VFX and Publication, Marketing and Account Management solutions for a 360. Brand and Strategic Management for varied mixed media.


The Brand TECHDIVINE has been associated over the last two years with high profile brands catering to services like Account Management, Client Servicing, Branding, Publication, Training, Designing, Visual effects and Animation.


TECDIVINE STUDIOS blogs – TD Studios and Techdivine at wordpress have been maintained by our Brand & Product Consultant Mr.Ananthanarayanan V


Owing to the amazing response that the wordpress blogs have generated of various articles, write ups from different authors and the publication success of the Coffee table poetry book EXPRESSIONS launched under the brand, TECHDVINE Studios is proud to announce the introduction of the new section in the blog: The YOUNG TALENTS write up section


The new Section – Young Talents write-ups:

A hot cup of coffee and a good book to read……….. that with the young talents ideas makes a great start for one’s day!

This new section under the head YOUNG TALENTS is dedicated to all the young writers and talents who love making up stories, who enjoy exploring the world of words and experimenting with it.

This heading “YOUNG TALENTS” in the blog would feature interesting and fascinating write-ups of young writers (Age group upto 15 years) who want to express their ideas, concepts, thoughts and share their wonderful experiences with all of us…..

So keep writing, keep reading, keep commenting




June 20, 2008 at 9:34 am 1 comment

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